All's Fair in Love and Poop

I know, I know! Only my second post and already I've succumbed to the temptation to write about my kids and their toilet habits! But in my defense, I've had a tough time composing a second post. When I started I knew that I wouldn't be a daily blogger. But surely I'd find time once or twice a week to share some stories or ideas with all of you. Well what was I thinking? I predicted that if anything stopped me from writing it would be a lack of inspiration or motivation. But in fact the problem is distraction. Funny, who'd a thunk it. I only have two almostfouryearolds running around, stuck in the house because it's so dang cold. What on earth could be the distraction? ha. The following is a true account of ONE of my many attempts to sit down and write something.


Me: Ok Delicate Flower and Wild Man, Mommy is going to do some work on the computer. You've got JoJo playing on the living room tv and Spiderman on the playroom tv. I've put out some playdoh and some coloring books. I got down the puzzle bucket and the blocks and I set the tents up in your room if you want to play camping. Now.....go play.

"typetytypetytypetype"

DF: Maaammaa. I'm thirsty.

Me: OK...(getting up). Here's a drink for you and for your brother. Now go play

"typetytypetype"

WM: Maammma. I can't get spiderman in his car. His leg is stuck because he's got big muuuscles. Like ME! See maama! Look Mamma. MOMMY. Look, look at my big muscles. Just like Spiderman. Can you help me get spiderman in his car?

Me: OK.....(insert stiff plastic man in tiny car with non-working doors). There ya go.

"type type"

DF: Maaaamaa! WM squeezed me!

Me: WM, why did you squeeze DF?

WM: Cuz she pushed me.

Me: DF, why did you push WM

DF: He pushed me first and took my bear!

Me: WM, why did you take her bear?

WM: Cuz I'm hate her.

Insert 20 minutes of crying and pouting and tantruming due to a lengthy time out.

Me: Now listen, I'm going to do some work on the computer. Be nice and go play.

"type" Um....what was I thinking? Oh yeah "typetytype"

Fast forward 10 minutes where a sudden panic overtakes me as I realize it has been QUIET...too quiet. I hear pitter patter upstairs and a sudden alarming wail. I sprint up the stairs and find DF in near hysterics.

Me: DF! What's wrong???

DF: WM flushed my POOOOOOP! waaaaah!

Me: WM! You don't flush other people's poop, only your own! Why did you flush DF's poop?

WM: cuz I'm like to

Now I wonder how the heck I'm going to fix this situation. Then I've got it....

Me: WM, next time you go poop you let DF flush it.

WM: ok!

Fast forward 10 more minutes. I've been writing and rewriting the same sentence and can't get it right. The whole poop incident is forgotten.

WM: MOM! Mom! Maaamma!

Me: fortheloveofgodWHAT?

WM: DF flushed my POOP!

Me: DF! We don't flush other peoples...

WM: Mom, mom....member? I flushed DF's poop and her cried and now I pooped and I let her flush my poop. And now her not sad anymore! That's good teamwork right mom?

Uhhh...sure dear, good teamwork. Wanna go to the mall?